Fatma Tuncer: "Compassion becoming on human"

Fatma Tuncer: "Compassion becoming on human"
Date: 12.3.2021 17:00

Milli Gazete columnist Fatma Tuncer writes on human lives. Here is the full article.

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"Fatma sister, I try to follow your articles, though not always. Sometimes I also see that you touch the question marks in my head, God bless you. I am 30 years old, I earn enough money to stand on my feet, but the marriage was not fortunate. I want to marry a beautiful lady, but I get a lot of reaction when I say this. I believe that there are beauties in a beautiful lady, these beauties will come out anyway. Beauty is important to me, I have such a choice. But I cannot explain this to my elders, they immediately oppose…" (S. Kaya)
These statements, which belong to one of my readers, actually reveal the way the young generation, who has evolved into global culture, not only looks at marriage, but also at life and evaluates events. Today's children value luxury, visibility, and popularity in just about everything. They love brands, they sit and stand up in comfortable environments, they want to get on flashy vehicles and live in elite districts. Today's children give importance to matter, not meaning, and they look at life with these glasses. However, physical characteristics have always been determinant in marriages, whether for women or men. However, generations that grew up under the influence of traditional culture also took into account criteria such as loyalty, such as loyalty, abilities that would ensure the order of the house, and did not look at marriage in one dimension. Today's young people, on the other hand, evaluate the spouse candidate only through their appearance and attach great importance to this. However, people after marriage realize that the beauty of a woman alone is not enough and they realize that marriage is a solidarity and cooperation and try to provide these opportunities. If two people share the same house, where love, loyalty, sharing, patience, understanding and empathy will become an essential need. If the person does not have these values, it will not work regardless of what physical advantages he/she has.
I find the following statement by T. Uyar quite meaningful: "Love the mercy of a man. Handiness goes away. Money, goods and possessions run out, but compassion is permanent. And the most important thing is that the most compassion for a man." I find it useful to add the following to these expressions; Love the compassionate of women, because compassion suits both men and women...
Compassion is a value that ensures the continuity of human relations. Compassion is a force that enhances the inner world of people and brings them together with love. Compassion is an indelible beauty, a core strong enough to soften even the hardest of hearts. However, for some reason, the people who will marry do not take this value into consideration, which will work for life, but they evaluate the spouse candidate only on the physical characteristics. However, marriage is a whole sharing, and after marriage, the person sees that the values ​​he has never taken into account before are necessary for the production of peace and happiness and he starts to conflict with his wife. The person wants to feel the love of his spouse and the value he gives to himself and to meet his compassion. The person needs the mercy of his wife to bear the heavy burden of marriage, but that person in his dream looks like a dull and soulless photograph. His feelings had never developed, he had never met sharing, and he saw compassion and compassion as a weakness. After all, your spouse is not a picture you hang on the wall, on the contrary, it is your companion with whom you are in constant communication… You need to share the burden on your back with him and you want to know that you are loved and that you are valuable in his eyes. You want to have a special place in his heart and be empowered by his compassion. But the person you marry does not have any of these values ​​that you have never considered before marriage. What does it mean to open a hand to a poor person? What does he have to give you? How sensitive can he understand you? How much mercy does he have that he can handle your burden? That's when you realize that just focusing on the image won't work, but the elapsed time has taken a lot from you. You put your hands to your face, you think… You know, true beauty is compassion and mercy. You realize that real beauty comes to life not in the face but in the heart, in the city of heart… But it is too late.


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