Fatma Tuncer: "Hoarders"

Fatma Tuncer: "Hoarders"
Date: 20.1.2021 17:00

Milli Gazete columnist Fatma Tuncer writes on human life. Here is the full article.

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We have seen a rapid increase in the number of hoarders defined as compulsive hoarding patients in recent years. The hoarders, who try to find life in garbage houses, try to open up a living space for themselves by collecting all the waste items whether or not they work. It doesn't matter how people evaluate themselves, what meaning they attribute to their extraordinary lives... As if the whole world was evacuated and only they remained in the square, what a pain! As a revenge on those who push them to lovelessness, they move away from events and individuals, move into the world of things and seek love, trust and tranquility here. They are trying to establish an emotional bond with these tools by collecting old and outdated items, waste packages, and obsolete vehicles. Leaving away from sounds, movements and everything belonging to living things and running away from things increases the spiritual conflicts that these people experience in their inner worlds and requires treatment.
Experts associate the hoarding behavior with the traumatic situations individuals are exposed to in their childhood and emphasize that these disintegrated parts should be integrated with spiritual support. Because, in the most critical period of a child's life, being subjected to violence or punishment, or not being able to reach the love and support they need, can disrupt the integrity of the ego and cause great damage. Everything that happens subconsciously turns into a schema and even if the person tries to reach his/her needs with the methods he/she finds in his/her later life, schemas prevent it. And man's search for love continues.
Hoarding is actually a way of healing the wounds opened by a person, it is actually a search… So when you meet people trying to come to life in garbage houses, do not overwhelm them with your glance, do not belittle them with your attitude, approach and greet them softly, hold them by their hands and encourage them to get the support they need. Remember, those dirt-covered objects contain meaning beyond what you see for these people… Every little bit you see in the garbage house is the sadness of a deprived child. İstifçi tries to compensate for the love and trust relationship that he could not reach in his childhood through a bond he established with the items he accumulated. But this situation distracts him from himself and the realities of life, confines him to a dull, dirty, messy area and isolates him. And… that child can't make his voice heard by anyone…
Hoarding is not a situation of being stingy or indispensable, on the contrary, it is an attempt to heal the traumatic attitudes that a person has been exposed to in his past life and the wounds caused by these attitudes, and the attempt to establish the bond of trust that he cannot establish in time. This is a "help" sound. It is necessary to listen to this voice and direct the person to the support they need. So, how do we explain the hoarding of those who keep old events, centuries-old quarrels, ashen expressions, discussions, and behaviors in a steel box and constantly bring them to the agenda? We encounter such people that he has kept the unpleasant events of 50-60 years with all the details, has not forgotten anything, has not forgiven any particle, has preserved his anger, hatred and hatred, and continues to infect people with this negative energy he has accumulated. I think these are the real hoarders. And those who continue to spread violence need help and support, just like hoarders seeking love in things. This is because the hatred, hatred and anger these people accumulate are dangerous for us all.
It is a situation we are familiar with; On a festive morning, relatives get together and chat. One of them is definitely a hoarder, and he turns the word over and takes it back sixty years. While the relatives, who have not seen each other for a long time, dream of having a good time, the hoarder begins to pour out the events and spoil the taste of the environment. The word goes on and on, and the person continues to disturb the atmosphere with expressions like you told me at that time, this person told me years ago… People stop the conversation they started eagerly and try to soothe the oppressed person under their accumulated hatred and hatred. But this is not as easy as it seems. Because the hoarder started to throw up anger, threaten, and insult as if he was experiencing everything at that moment. Everyone stops talking, he keeps talking.
What is not in the steel chest of the hoarder, the distasteful words, curses, insults, eyebrow-eye movements, whispering, backspeaking… The hoarder did not throw anything, forgive anyone, and forgot any words that were made. And as he piled up the events, his hatred and hatred increased and turned into a chronic rage. But the person insists on preferring violence not love… That's why you cannot make your voice heard by these people…


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