The woman bowed her head, as if she had lost all her wealth, "I have been married for twenty years, but I always feel alone, I live everything inside, I reach the walls but I cannot reach my husband, we are like people of two different worlds. He is always busy, he has important work to do, when he comes home he should go to his room and rest," she says, and she swallows silently. Woman; It summarizes the story of two people who physically live in the same place, but become separated and alienated from each other. The woman reveals the bitterness of two hearts that breathe the same air but move away from each other and weave distances between them.
When you ask, almost everyone states that marriage is an important institution and that family integrity can be achieved with sharing and sacrifice, but we cannot find its reflections in practice. The concepts of love, respect and fairness integrated with the family are only included in expressions like this, and cannot be carried into practical life.
The biggest problem in marriages today is the lack of communication and the resulting emotional disconnection, the alienation of the spouses from each other. The man and woman who cannot establish closeness at heart turn into two strangers living in the same house. The woman neither tries to get to know her husband, nor does the husband understand his wife, spouses continue their lives as two strangers. While people take care to meet their neighbors who have just moved to the apartment and knock on their doors, they do not make an effort to get to know their fellow travelers with whom they share the same house, and they do not even condescend to it. The woman always complains about not being understood, the man says that he works in a busy schedule and needs silence all day long, and naturally, they cannot establish a heartfelt connection with each other. Well, is it possible for children to develop a healthy personality in this loveless and dull environment? Of course no…
The heart is the name of the center where communication takes place, the vessel where love blooms, and if hearts are far from each other, they cannot establish closeness and meet in love even if they are physically together. Because the addressee of the word is the heart, communication begins and ends in the heart.
The house keeps the family members together physically, but it cannot be a solution to the hearts that are separated, and the spouses whose hearts cannot establish closeness begin to see each other as the other. The fact that the spouses cannot feel each other's presence increases the distances and the house loses its function and turns into a dull place. When he comes home in the evening, the person who is not satisfied with chatting and spending time with his wife and children goes to his room, turns on the TV, picks up the phone and chats with his friends, and cannot feel the presence of family members and cannot sympathize with them. When the hearts diverge, the love and compassion that sustain the marriage weakens and the spouses become intolerant of each other. Because the love and understanding needed can only be possible with the closeness and reconciliation of hearts.
The heart has a mind, a way of communication and a language of its own, which the Islamic elders called the language of the heart. Mevlana says in his masnavi, “… a word is like a body, and its meaning is a sweet soul” and draws attention to the spirit of the word, not its outward appearance. Mevlana emphasizes the unity of essences and sympathy, rather than words, with the expression "friendliness is better than fellowship". Because even if people do not speak the same language, if they can experience the same emotion, it brings them together and unites them in love. And if the hearts have established closeness, the mountains that you thought were insurmountable will be overcome and the problems will go to ashes. That's when you realize that the elixir that keeps the universe alive is the love that comes to life in the hearts.