In traditional societies, the basis of marriage was based on respect and solidarity, and spouses saw each other as companions and carried the burden of life together. Not only the female bird would make the nest, the male would also make an effort and the house would become a school where love was produced. The man did not see his wife either as a slave or as a rival, but as a companion and included her in the decisions he made. The house would become a place where love blossomed, a school that prepared family members for life, and found the value it deserved.
Today, young individuals who act with a secular point of view see marriage as an obstacle that undermines freedom and postpone it. Because the materialist culture directly affected our lifestyle, shopping style, eating and drinking patterns, and our perception of marriage, and our individualized youth began to see marriage based on sharing as a challenge. Because marriage was based on sharing and sacrifice, the youth focused on receiving rather than giving, and saw marriage as unnecessary.
Young individuals who see it as a trap, a bondage that will prevent the movements of marriage, act with the motto of "stay single, be free" and prefer solitude. This situation causes young people to be deprived of the spiritual gains of marriage and to become selfish.
When I asked a 38-year-old why he was delaying marriage, he said, "I want to live my freedom, I can think of getting married at forty." When I asked how it might affect the freedom of marriage, he said, "You have to go home on time, you have to include your spouse in your decisions, you have to take responsibility for your spouse and children, these are difficult things, I am more comfortable alone." These statements made by the young individual show that our children are far from values such as sharing and self-sacrifice, and that they perceive this as folly. The individual wants to work, earn money and hold a position of authority, but does not want to share love and effort, preferring to live alone on a single island.
The young individual, who carries the colors of secular culture, lives in an individual space and becomes lonely, impoverished and loses his potential to love. The young person avoids sharing the opportunities he has and sees it as a loss. Young, believing that he cannot bear the burden of marriage, prefers to continue on his own.
The child wants to have everything alone until the age of three, he avoids sharing his toys, he likes to play alone and does not want to share his friends in his games. However, after the third year, he needs socialization, makes room for his friends, and begins to adapt to group games. Because the human baby needs to be in sharing with the other, and the child learns to share by spending more time with his friends. With the transfer of individuality as a lifestyle, young individuals socio-psychologically return to the age of three and before and withdraw to a single-person island.
Today, young individuals build their lives on pleasure and spending and become lonely by breaking their ties with the other. Today's children see loneliness as liberation and they want to own everything, decide alone and live alone. And they get a job, they earn money, but they postpone the marriage because they think their mouth will go bad. I do not believe that this problem will find a solution unless parents save their children from the trap of the capitalist system and gain a sharing-centered perspective.
Marriage is a gain, not a loss, and it gives a person a sense of belonging and develops, matures and strengthens him spiritually. The sense of responsibility and self-sacrifice of a person who has a special area of his own, spouse and child develops, and this enables the person to be successful in the social field. Because family is like a school and spouses are two active members of this school. Therefore, it is necessary to encourage young people to marry and to ensure that they benefit from these gains.