Erich Fromm says, "Human loves what they have worked for, and a man makes effort for what he loves." Labor is transformed into a love, and love enables a bond with a loved one or object. Consider your cat that you care for at home. The animal you have is like a member of the house, it meets its needs and you are in a comfortable environment. Of course, your communication with an animal you own is not like a communication you have established with a close friend. But as a result of your work, you have established a bond with this animal and you are trying to protect it. When you lose an object that you bond, you feel sorrow in your heart.
When you move away from home where you have lived for many years, you feel a bit sour in our inner world. It's a clue. The memories that are transmitted to the walls of the house are to leave your neighbors whom you greet each day, the streets you feed with memories. While you are carrying your house, you are silently keeping your age. Because a place you live for many years is not an ordinary place for you.
The strength of the bond that you establish with a human or an object is proportional to the time you spend and the labor you give them. As Fromm says, you love what you labor and give it to what you love. The bond you establish with your child or your relatives is not just a kinship, it is the result of your time and the effort you spend with them.
Experts recommend that the mother establish an affinity and trust relationship with the child during 0-3 years of age, and they stress the problems that will arise when this link is not established. Because when the child opens to the outside world, he will use the relationship model he creates with the mother and communicate with the people in this direction. Children who can not feel the support of their mother during childhood and have not established a healthy connection with them can become close to the people in their future lives or they can not keep up with the relationship. In other words, the inability of your mother to demonstrate a supportive attitude affects the negative side of her connection with the people. How can a healthy bond with the mother be established and how?
The mother should love the child unconditionally and avoid showing her love in tactile, auditory and behavioral sense.
A mom should has her trust on child, She should be there when the child needs it.
The mother should spend time with the child and give the feel of that she values her.